loving kids

I have been married for a little over two months now. My beautiful wife and I tied the knot on April 10th. Of course we have had the kid conversation. When? How many? etc. Of course being a guy I am a little nervous about all of that. But part of me is excited about it too.

Since I started working with kids and families in February, I have realized a few things. We have all these terms for disorders that kids have in Behavioral Health. ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), Bi-Polar Disorder, etc. I have gotten to deal with kids with some or all of these disorders. What I have discovered is a common theme. Usually, not always, but usually, their lives are very chaotic. Mom and Dad are divorced. Their family is struggling to make it financially. They have no structure in life. They don't feel loved. The hard part is, usually their parents came from the same circumstances. It's almost like a cycle.

So I come in, with no kids of my own, with limited life experience and what they would consider an easy life and I try and help them. It seems pretty twisted. How do I teach parents how to love their kids? It's really difficult, believe me. What's really scary is how much the kids act like their parents even at a really young age. They pick up everything, even facial expressions. Kids might grow up hating their parents and act exactly like their parents did. Of course we blame the disorders, but really it is a breakdown in relationship that might have started generations before.

I am so thankful to God that I get to experience this job before my beautiful wife and I ever decide to have kids. It has opened my eyes to the importance of the parent's role in the lives' of their kids. Three things I pray to offer my kids are unconditional love, structure, and consistency.

The magic dumpster...

These past few weeks, my eyes have been opened to the amazing amount of stuff that is thrown away. Brittany and I found the following in a dumpster at her apartment complex: a wooden table, plastic stool, unopened can of white paint, utility rack, an alarm clock, toaster, small animal carrier, a rolling storage rack, tupperware, a plastic bowl and serving tray, 2 brooms, a dust pan, a mop, comet cleaner, mr. clean & dishwashing soap, a water pitcher, a Hawaii coffee table book, & a car shade.

After thinking about it for a while, Britt and I came to the conclusion that someone in the apartment complex had been evicted. Apparently their belongings were just tossed out by the dumpster. I was hit by the uniqueness of this situation. Where else in the world can someone's belongings be tossed out like it was worthless?

I found myself reflecting on the situation some more and I was in a state of disbelief. In non-western countries, finding this kind of stuff by the trash just doesn't happen. The phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure" suddenly came to life for me. How is it that we can discard 'things' so easily here? It's probably because we have options. Throw it away. Get another one. Not that big of a deal. What if 'things' were harder to come by? Or what if we realized that because we have so many options, other people have less options?

If I learned anything about this situation, its that I want to practice "thanksliving." Seeing everything I have been given as a blessing, even if its not the nicest or newest. The day that I can throw perfectly good things in a dumpster is the day that I forgot about most people in the world who will never know what it's like to have so many options.

Haiti Disaster

So I have spent some time reading and looking at the pictures from the earthquake in Haiti. It is really hard to understand such an event taking place and so many people being affected at the same time in the same place. I was reading about how Haiti already has about 80% of its people living at or below the poverty level. As I sit here and write this I am amazed at how much different it is here where we have "building codes", "traffic laws", and other things that keep us safe. With all that our government does horribly, the one thing they do well is security or secure our high standard of living. I think about how secure people in Haiti must feel when buildings are falling down and people don't have a clue where to go for food or water. What would I do in a situation in which multiple family members have died and I don't know what to do next.

Which brings me to my next point. In times in our lives when everything has fallen apart, where do we go? It really makes you assess your current decisions in life. If I was a Haitian with no home, no family, and nothing to look forward to, what would I do? What would I think about God (especially when certain televangelists, who will go unnamed, say God is punishing you for making a deal with the devil hundreds of years ago)? I'd like to believe in Something or Someone good at that point. I'd like to believe that the Gospel was especially for a person like me in this situation. In times like these you'd want to be with someone who could relate to you. A person who felt the same thing and the same pain. I guess that's why I believe God had to become human. You have to be human to feel the pain of humanity. God came to connect with our pain, not to tell everyone they are going to be punished. God came exactly when we needed Him in the way we needed Him most. It is my hope and prayer that the people of Haiti feel and know that God is with them.

Engagement and Future

Hello Everyone,

There has been much happening in the past few weeks after outreach in India and have returned to the U.S. I had about a week and a half after the July school was over to take in Australia with my girlfriend Brittany. We rented a car and drove to Noosa Beach, Surfer's Paradise, and Byron Bay within the week and a half period. We also did some hiking and swimming. The rest of our time was spent with friends who I sorely miss already. I left Australia on December 3rd while Brittany left December 4th. Since returning home it has been a whirlwind. I have spent time with family and friends while planning a surprise engagement for Brittany.

The plan was to "fake her out" by taking a trip to the Grand Canyon for a couple days, however, due to weather we decided Sedona, Arizona would be just fine. After talking with her mom and some friends, we were able to organize a little surprise at her house on Saturday the 12th of December. We had a nice time in Sedona and did some hiking as well as sight seeing. Brittany was expecting the proposal the whole time but it would not come until later:) . After the 3 hour drive home, Britt seemed to be accepting the fact that the proposal would come later. She was so shocked and happy that it finally happened. As we entered the house she noticed all the faces in her living room. I got down on a knee and asked her to marry me and she said "YES"! It was a great surprise for her and I am so excited to start a new journey with her.

Thank you to everyone who has faithfully supported me through prayers and finances in YWAM. I would like to let everyone know that I will be having a night where Britt & I can share about this last DTS. I will be postponing that date until January because of the craziness of the holiday season. I look forward to re-connecting with many of you and telling you about what God is doing and has done. One thing I would like to tell everyone is to please stop sending any support to YWAM Tyler. God has provided for my needs so faithfully and I am so thankful to everyone who has been so gracious. Never was I in a position where I had to ask for more from anyone. As a matter of fact I was challenged many times to give more to others who had more needs than myself. Like I have said before, "God has blessed so that we may bless others."

To let everyone know I am currently trying to figure out a plan for this next year. On top of getting married, I also need to find a job and move out. As you can imagine I am nervous, excited, and overwhelmed. Please keep me in your prayers not that everything would work out like a plan, but that I will trust God. I feel like this next season will be a time in which God challenges me to live like I have been teaching students to live the past two years.

I will leave you with a verse that I shared with the July 2009 DTS at their graduation. It comes from Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Back again in Oz

We are officially done with outreach and are back in Australia enjoying a week of debriefing. I am so glad to be back here with the rest of the school and staff. It was a great reunion seeing everyone again. I think the reality that we have only a week left has not really set in for most of us yet.

The last few weeks of outreach were such a blur. One of the high lights of the last week was going to a leper community. We traveled a long ways outside of the city to visit a real community of people with leprosy and their families. Before we went, there was definitely some fear in the air. It's not every day you get the chance to see people suffering from a disease like leprosy. Most of us would avoid having to subject ourselves to that. It is difficult to see people suffering and not feel depressed. What I have learned is that our God is a God who embraces the suffering and the marginalized and He wants people to do the same. This goes against every fiber of our being. No one wants to suffer. But that is exactly what God did for us. It says in Isaiah that the Messiah would be "a man of sorrows acquainted with grief."

Once we were there it was actually not as bad as I thought. The people were very kind and happy to see us and there was actually another team from Washington state there with us which eased the tension. We performed some songs and a drama and presented them with some rice and other food for their community and stayed for a bit before leaving. It was an experience I won't soon forget. I think the team was thankful for the opportunity as well and trying to get past the natural fears.

Thank you to everyone for reading the blogs and keeping up with us. Also thanks for the prayers. We were so blessed to have no major sicknesses or disasters:) For those of you sending financial support thank you. I would ask that you please stop as I am supplied and will be home in a few weeks. Thanks so much for your generosity. I look forward to seeing everyone soon!

Painting & Proselytizing

These past few weeks have flown by. Last week was probably the most intense week we have had during outreach. We literally left by 9am each day and wouldn't return until after 8pm. During the mornings, we worked at a day care center which was actually the home of some Indian Christians. We were asked by our contact Josh to paint it so that it feels like a kindergarten. I was not expecting too much from myself in terms of artistic ability, but I was so happy with the result. We have so many talented painters on this team. Unfortunately not everyone was that great at cleaning brushes:) The paint was oil based and a nightmare to clean up. Nonetheless, I was amazed at the result as was our contact Josh.

At night, we would drive a long ways out to a farming village and share the gospel message using skits, songs, & testimonies. The area was known for having many drunk men. We had so many distractions during our time there including passing vehicles and motorcycles, screaming children, drunk men, and animals! Despite all the distractions, we saw people come forward to ask how they can have a life in relationship with this God we were describing. Many people described never having peace in their life and not knowing why.

This week, we have enjoyed some time off from ministry and have been spending time together reflecting on what has gone well on outreach and what has not. It has been a restful time. Monday we enjoyed going to the mall and eating at an American themed restaurant called "Sparky's". The food was great! On Tuesday, we took the team to a theme park and rode on some fun rides and not-so-fun rides. Wednesday, we are giving everyone a day to do whatever they want. We are looking forward to spending the rest of the week working at an adoption agency. We get to take care of some of the babies & children that are in need of a family. Most of them are girls as boys are preferred by families because of the way marriages are arranged. Parents literally have to start saving up for their daughter to get married off. They usually have to pay a dowry to the groom to take the woman as a wife. Sons are preferred because they receive money from the bride and her family. It's sad but here it is a reality that we Westerners have a hard time understanding.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support while I have been outreach. Please pray that the next few weeks go well for our team as we leave November 14th.

The Halfway Point

We have now been in Chennai for about a month of our two month outreach. I can't say it has been easy although we have had many blessings. This past week, we taught english twice a day. In the morning, we would meet up with about 10-15 college age students looking for help with conversational english. Some of them were good english speakers and others struggled. But it was still fun and exciting to interact with them and help them out. Most of them have never been out of India, so to get a chance to speak with people who use English as a first language is rare. In the evening, we went to a girl's hostel where there is an all girls school. Since there were about 60 or so girls, our team split up into pairs to teach different grades. I was fortunate to get the 10th year girls who spoke and understood english well. It was challenging to come up with new lessons each day that were fun and interesting for everyone. Some activities worked well and others did not, but the students gave a good effort. On the last day, we brought snacks for them to eat. I noticed as I handed them out that nearly all 60+ girls made eye contact and said "thank you" as they received the food. It was good to know they really appreciated the gesture.

We have endured much as a team this week. On Friday, we played soccer with the college age students in the morning group. Despite winning the game, we suffered two injuries: a black eye and a injured knee. Then all through Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, a holiday called "Diwali", which is the Hindu festival of lights, is celebrated. To celebrate, firecrackers are set off all through the night and day. I'm not talking about little ones either. It literally sounds like we are in the middle of a war zone. It is annoying to say the least. Our team did not get much sleep, but we will be thankful for its conclusion. As we press on for towards the next half of outreach, please pray that our team will find the energy and motivation to keep going and to continue in unity.