loving kids

I have been married for a little over two months now. My beautiful wife and I tied the knot on April 10th. Of course we have had the kid conversation. When? How many? etc. Of course being a guy I am a little nervous about all of that. But part of me is excited about it too.

Since I started working with kids and families in February, I have realized a few things. We have all these terms for disorders that kids have in Behavioral Health. ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), Bi-Polar Disorder, etc. I have gotten to deal with kids with some or all of these disorders. What I have discovered is a common theme. Usually, not always, but usually, their lives are very chaotic. Mom and Dad are divorced. Their family is struggling to make it financially. They have no structure in life. They don't feel loved. The hard part is, usually their parents came from the same circumstances. It's almost like a cycle.

So I come in, with no kids of my own, with limited life experience and what they would consider an easy life and I try and help them. It seems pretty twisted. How do I teach parents how to love their kids? It's really difficult, believe me. What's really scary is how much the kids act like their parents even at a really young age. They pick up everything, even facial expressions. Kids might grow up hating their parents and act exactly like their parents did. Of course we blame the disorders, but really it is a breakdown in relationship that might have started generations before.

I am so thankful to God that I get to experience this job before my beautiful wife and I ever decide to have kids. It has opened my eyes to the importance of the parent's role in the lives' of their kids. Three things I pray to offer my kids are unconditional love, structure, and consistency.

The magic dumpster...

These past few weeks, my eyes have been opened to the amazing amount of stuff that is thrown away. Brittany and I found the following in a dumpster at her apartment complex: a wooden table, plastic stool, unopened can of white paint, utility rack, an alarm clock, toaster, small animal carrier, a rolling storage rack, tupperware, a plastic bowl and serving tray, 2 brooms, a dust pan, a mop, comet cleaner, mr. clean & dishwashing soap, a water pitcher, a Hawaii coffee table book, & a car shade.

After thinking about it for a while, Britt and I came to the conclusion that someone in the apartment complex had been evicted. Apparently their belongings were just tossed out by the dumpster. I was hit by the uniqueness of this situation. Where else in the world can someone's belongings be tossed out like it was worthless?

I found myself reflecting on the situation some more and I was in a state of disbelief. In non-western countries, finding this kind of stuff by the trash just doesn't happen. The phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure" suddenly came to life for me. How is it that we can discard 'things' so easily here? It's probably because we have options. Throw it away. Get another one. Not that big of a deal. What if 'things' were harder to come by? Or what if we realized that because we have so many options, other people have less options?

If I learned anything about this situation, its that I want to practice "thanksliving." Seeing everything I have been given as a blessing, even if its not the nicest or newest. The day that I can throw perfectly good things in a dumpster is the day that I forgot about most people in the world who will never know what it's like to have so many options.

Haiti Disaster

So I have spent some time reading and looking at the pictures from the earthquake in Haiti. It is really hard to understand such an event taking place and so many people being affected at the same time in the same place. I was reading about how Haiti already has about 80% of its people living at or below the poverty level. As I sit here and write this I am amazed at how much different it is here where we have "building codes", "traffic laws", and other things that keep us safe. With all that our government does horribly, the one thing they do well is security or secure our high standard of living. I think about how secure people in Haiti must feel when buildings are falling down and people don't have a clue where to go for food or water. What would I do in a situation in which multiple family members have died and I don't know what to do next.

Which brings me to my next point. In times in our lives when everything has fallen apart, where do we go? It really makes you assess your current decisions in life. If I was a Haitian with no home, no family, and nothing to look forward to, what would I do? What would I think about God (especially when certain televangelists, who will go unnamed, say God is punishing you for making a deal with the devil hundreds of years ago)? I'd like to believe in Something or Someone good at that point. I'd like to believe that the Gospel was especially for a person like me in this situation. In times like these you'd want to be with someone who could relate to you. A person who felt the same thing and the same pain. I guess that's why I believe God had to become human. You have to be human to feel the pain of humanity. God came to connect with our pain, not to tell everyone they are going to be punished. God came exactly when we needed Him in the way we needed Him most. It is my hope and prayer that the people of Haiti feel and know that God is with them.